Thoughts Of A Toddler

Toddler:  An emotionally unstable tiny dictator with the ability to know exactly how far to push you towards utter insanity before reverting to an adorable, loving cuddle monster.

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What I enjoy most about the toddler stage is the personality that is starting to develop.  In my case, this personality consists of lots of sass and opinions.

Aubrey has always been a very happy, loving, and energetic child.  I am constantly impressed with her positive disposition and her joy for life!  Lately, I am most impressed with her vocabulary and what comes out of her mouth.

Toddlers speak heartfelt emotions, can be brutally honest, and repeat anything they hear in their surroundings (good and bad…)

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If you know me, you know I love to laugh and it doesn’t take much to make me giggle.  Aubrey must know this is my love language as she does her best to make me smile and laugh every single day!

So if you’re in need of an ab workout, get ready. Today I am sharing some of my favorite “toddler moments:

1.) Aubrey has a new baby sister and watches me nurse her, so of course she copies me and nurses her baby, Abby.  She says, “Mommy, I am feeding my baby just like you, except my right booby is milk and the left is orange juice!”

2.) On the potty, she calls me in to assist and I find her with a book on her lap. Aubrey says, “Mommy, will you please turn on the fan, I am going to need a few minutes.” I get my phone out to take a picture. “Do not take a picture of me while I am busy, let me have some space.”

3.) Aubrey asked how Caroline was going to get out of my belly.  Thankfully, I was having another a c-section so it was less awkward to explain.  Aubrey says “I don’t want those doctors to cut you and hurt you, can she please just come out of your mouth?”

4.) While pregnant and wearing a black and white striped shirt Aubrey says, “Wow Mommy, you look like a huge Zebra!”  (EXACTLY what I wanted to hear.)

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5.) Leaving Disney, I changed her clothes in the parking lot for the ride home.  She started crying and says, “No Mommy, no one wants to see me naked out here!”

6.) We are *those* parents that pull over and let our kid pee on the side of the road.  While driving home one day Aubrey says, “Mommy!  Pull over, I need to water the earth!”

7.) She saw a movie that plays Beyonce’s “All the single ladies.”  She must have misheard them because Aubrey says “All the Stingrays, All the Stingrays, All the Stringrays please stand up!”

8.) On Easter Sunday, our dog, Paisley, just happened to kill a squirrel.  Of course, we had to bury it in the backyard.  After packing down the dirt and explaining that he had passed away, Aubrey says “Is he going to come back in 3 days?”  Me… “no baby, he isn’t Jesus.”

9.) Aubrey is a pretty healthy eater.  She had brussel sprouts on her plate, which she has happily eaten before, but this time Aubrey says, “Ouch, these brussels sprouts really hurt my mouth, I think I should have ice cream instead! Doesn’t that sound like a great idea?”

10.) Since I sell wine, we talk about wine in our household. The second we enter the grocery store, Aubrey runs straight to the wine department and yells “Mommy!  Let’s find all of your wine!  I can’t wait to be 21 and have wine (while jumping up and down)!”

These are just a few that have been recent, but it is seriously something new every single day!

What is something your toddler said that made you laugh? Comment below- I would love to laugh too!