Tales From Discovering My Mom Squad… And How You Can, Too!

Of all the things that I do and strive to be successful at, being a mom is at the top of my list. But it’s not always simple. During this crazy time in life, it is so important to surround yourself with other moms and women who understand what you are going through; your Mom Squad!

[ReviewDisclaimer]

Let’s face it, motherhood is a fun journey filled with so many amazing moments, but it’s also complicated and emotional. At any time, you may go from sadness or panic to your face hurting from  laughing or your heart feeling like it could explode with all the love you feel towards these little humans. Most of those can all be felt in just one day!

At the end of that crazy day, I understand the miracle and blessing that I have and I want to be the absolute best mom I can!

With this type of responsibility also comes the pressure to meet those (sometimes unrealistic) expectations. It’s not pressure from others; it is the pressure us moms put on ourselves. Because of that, it’s so necessary to have a support system of amazing women and mothers to help guide in this journey – whether it’s from providing wisdom, sharing kind words, or just lending support!

Why?

Moms just can’t do motherhood alone.

Understanding What A Mom Squad Is

Not too long after welcoming a new little baby, you’re confronted with new emotions for your little one, and also towards yourself. I’m talking baby weight. Ugh, once we have the baby, we want our old bodies back, IMMEDIATELY. The sleepless nights… lack of personal hygiene… and now also our personal insecurity with that number on the scale is enough for us to go absolutely crazy!

I remember going to Lowes Home Improvement shortly after having Aubrey. When checking out the cashier says, “Oh congrats, when is your baby due?”

First I laughed, then quickly replied, “Oh she is 3 weeks old.”

That was the most awkward silence I have every experienced when checking out. (But really, how do people STILL not know NOT to ask THAT question!)

Regardless, that got me feeling the pressure to get the baby weight off, stat!  But my friends, family, and even distant acquaintances stepped up without even knowing it. They supported the way I wanted to look physically, felt mentally, and my goal to run a 10k and push Aubrey in her BOB Stroller.

I also started to hear about how happy I looked with Aubrey in my arms, or see kind comments on a Facebook picture, or my personal favorite… “I cant even tell you just had a baby!” (100% untrue because the lady at Lowes thought I was currently still pregnant,) but it all goes to show that a simple compliment goes a long way to a new mom!

What I didn’t know at the time was that these kinds of gestures were going to get me through a tough period of parenthood. And then, my understanding of what a Mom Squad really is, began!

Watching My Mom Squad Grow

I remember the first time I had to give Aubrey a bottle of formula. I was getting ready for one of my best friend’s wedding (hey Katie!!). While getting my hair done, I was also nursing Aubrey. She had nursed for about 40 minutes and was still starving, leading to her screaming and crying and me not being able to do ANYTHING to console her. As a new mom, I was freaking out!

Luckily, another mom friend was there and had a spare bottle and formula in her diaper bag!  When I was preparing that bottle… I remember feeling like such a failure.  My baby was only 1 month old and I was already not making enough milk to feed her. But Aubrey sucked that bottle down and was back to living her best life! No one judged me, said a word about the bottle, or even knew how upset I really was. They just knew Aubrey was quiet, happy, and they lined back up to get more sweet baby cuddles while I got ready.

After this, I remember reaching out to my college girls and my family to share my shame of giving Aubrey her first formula bottle. And to my surprise no one told me I was the worst mom ever.

I received responses asking what brand of formula I was using, what bottle Aubrey liked, recipes for lactation cookies, or hearing about how ME, Jenny, only ever had formula since I was adopted and still turned out perfectly fine! This type of support was exactly what I needed!  I continued to nurse and pump for 1 year, just because it was my personal goal, but I no longer worried about having to give Aubrey a formula bottle every day.

In this instance, I had support from two groups of people closets to me – both from childhood friends as well as my college girlfriends. It was so validating for them to come to bat for me in a really uncertain time.

Finding Mom Squads In Unexpected Places

Ohhh the Target Dollar Spot… I have a love / hate relationship with you. My strategy of shopping with my toddler is bribery.  If she is an excellent shopper, we get to come back to the Dollar Spot and she can pick out any prize that she wants.  This normally works out great, except for this one time.

My sweet, normally well-behaved child decided waiting to return to the Dollar Spot was NOT a great idea and she wanted her prize right now. After telling her no and trying to explain why, she decided to have a meltdown and scream and cry. I bent down on her level and said, “If you continue to act like this, we are leaving.” Well, that caused her emotions to heighten. I picked her up and walked out the doors.

I did not realized until mid-conversation with her that every single person leaving Target was staring at my crying screaming kid and me trying to keep it all together. I instantly felt embarrassed, angry, and judged. But then… an unlikely person from the Mom Squad appeared.  I have no idea what this mom’s name was or even what she looked like, but as I was bent down, she walked by, patted me on the shoulder and said, “You’re doing a great job, Mama, we have all been there.”

I glanced up and she gave a quick smile and continued on her way.  That is all I needed; that support and bit of encouragement that I am not alone in this journey of motherhood. It was also a reminder that Mom Squad members don’t have to always be people you know, and that WE can be a tribe to a Target-meltdown-mama as well.

Leaning On Your Mom Squad

A big part of my Mom squad exists right here, my girls on Poms2Moms.

When deciding on what to purchase for my babies before they arrived, I didn’t go to Google, and all of the online checklist overwhelmed me!  I went to Trisha (my only friend to have a baby before me!) I probably asked Trisha over 1 million questions in a 3 month period and would not have been as prepared or confident if it was not for her!

Some moms like to have their babies on schedules, and yours truly is one of them! I joined Facebook groups to learn what to do, but ultimately leaned on Kaitlin and Trisha so much for this! Then, when Shelley became a mom, she joined this constant conversation!  Then a couple years later, Cayla and I had the rare and special experience of sharing our entire pregnancy together! (Our girls are just 3 weeks apart!)

All of this is to say… we went from living together as roommates in college and talking about parties and cheerleading, to planning weddings together, to now discussing how much our nipples hurt and how much our lives revolved around getting this tiny person to sleep for more than 3 hours.  Man, life changes, but I am so thankful they have been a constant!

The list of experiences a mom encounters are endless and so are the questions we have. This is what we are hoping to create with Poms2Moms. We are a squad of friends going through an incredible journey together and…

…if you need a Mom squad, join us!

If you are looking for the most positive outlook on life and to make you feel like you can take on anything, Cayla is your girl!

If you need someone to offer you some real talk, give you truly honest advice, and help you walk through a situation without the slightest judgement, then we have Shelley!

If you need someone to make you laugh, I mean belly laugh or pee-your-pants laugh, as a reminder not to take anything too seriously, then Kaitlin will be there for you.

If you need someone to bring some Jesus into your life but also get real ganster with you all in the same conversation, then we have Trisha!

And if you need someone to be your hype girl, to support you and tell you how awesome you are, then I got you!

I am so thankful for my Mom Squad; my mom, mother in law, grandmothers, birth mom, sister, my hometown girls, my college girls, my neighborhood ladies, co-workers, the mom in Target. Without these ladies I would not be half the mother I am today!

Being a support system to one other is one of the most invaluable tools we have!

Who makes up YOUR Mom Squad? Tell us about them, below!