Going Back To Work: The Struggle Is Real

Going back to work? Not sure if you should be excited, or lock yourself in the bathroom and cry? Yeah, I can relate…

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Going back to work can be extremely challenging for a mom – especially a new mom. So many mothers experience an overwhelming sense of anxiety and mom guilt when returning back to work, after maternity leave.

If you’re lucky, you may have just had several weeks at home with your little one. Having to readjust your situation and routine, JUST after spending weeks trying to get adjusted to your new baby, is TOUGH!

I thought I would be pretty calm, cool, and collected on my first day back to work. Part of me was very excited to catch up with my coworkers and get back into my old routine.

The other part of me felt completely torn apart.

It’s hard being separated from the little human you formed in your body and have spent every waking moment with for the last few months.

I vividly remember leaving Mia before going back to work (it sadly still replays over and over in my mind.) You may have experienced this same thing; you drop your baby off (and of course kiss her 100 times), you drive away, your eyes swell with crocodile tears, the lump in your throat expands, and the pit in your stomach grows to what feels like the size of a watermelon.

Then all of a sudden…there it is….the ugly cry.

I’ve never been so thankful to have tinted windows in my car, so I could cry in a safe, peaceful, and judgement-free place. A good cry is therapeutic, and once I was able to get that out, I knew it would all be okay.

But had I not had the right frame of mind going into it, I don’t think I would have recovered as easily. So, here are 7 tips that made the going back to work adjustment a little easier for me.

 

1.) Mentally prepare – 

And while you mentally prepare, soak in as many baby snuggles as you can! You can do it. You will get readjusted. If you go back and feel like it’s just not working for you, that’s okay too. Then, you know it’s time to have a conversation to see if staying at home/working from home would be a better option for you and your family.

2.) Get prepared the night before –

I’m talking outfits picked out, baby bottles prepared, diaper bags packed. Nothing is worse than being in a rush, on top of being overly stressed and anxious. The more you can do to prepare the night before, the less you will have to worry about in the morning.

3.) Ask for help – 

The day (and maybe week/month) you go back to work can be emotionally draining. It’s important to get as much support as you need, whether it’s having help getting breakfast made, cleaning the never-ending mound of bottles, playing with the baby while you get ready, making more COFFEE…anything!

The first day that Mia was going to the nanny, I asked for Josh to come with me to drop her off. I told him I wanted help bringing everything in, but of course I really just needed him there for the emotional support.

Sure enough, the second we walked to our cars after dropping her off, my head sank into his chest, the tears came rolling down, and I got mascara on his shirt (sorry, babe.) It really helps to have that extra support, and the verbal reassurance that everything will be okay.

4.) Get dressed LAST – 

Seriously, like right before you walk out of the door. Chances are your baby is going to drool, spit up, or maybe even poop on your outfit that you worked so hard to put together. After having to get yourself and your child ready and out the door by 8:00am, the last thing you have time for is another outfit change.

5.) Meet with your supervisor and be honest – 

I knew returning to work would be bittersweet – excited to get back, but sad about leaving the baby. I met with our CEO and my supervisor to catch up, and I allowed myself to be open and honest about how I was feeling.

It made me feel so much more at ease telling them that returning to work was an exciting, but very difficult and emotional transition. They were very understanding and were willing to work with me. They offered flexible hours and encouraged me to slowly get back into my work routine.

6.) Acknowledge the mommy guilt, but let it subside –

If it’s in the best interest for you and your family to return to work, then you are doing a good thing. You’re helping provide for your family and pave the way for your child to have a wonderful life. Isn’t that what we all want, as moms? For our children to know that we would do everything in our power to give them the best life imaginable??

7.) Pray! –

Pray and trust that your baby will be well taken care of.

It can be difficult to trust that someone else will care for your baby the way that you would. No matter if your child is going to daycare, staying with a grandparent, or with a nanny, we have to trust that they are fully capable and equipped to handle the job.

On your way to work, try listening to a playlist of your favorite worship music and believe that the One who created the Universe will comfort you, give you peace, and will ultimately protect that beautiful baby you made, while you’re gone.

I’m SO grateful that I was able to have 13 weeks of maternity leave with Mia. Going back to work has been very challenging, but has made me cherish every precious second that I have with her even more.

I can’t wait to pick her up after work or come home and see her smiling, happy face. It gives me light. I may or may not still ugly cry on the way to work…but my hope is that it will get easier each week. 😉

Are you struggling with having to go back to work? I would love to pray for you or hear how you are handling it…we can go through this transition together!