How I Survived Becoming A “2U2” Mom

Here’s how it all went down. Risden was 11 months old. At this time I was still breastfeeding; however, my milk supply was sinking faster than my bank account after a trip to Target. I tried all of the tricks to increase your milk supply like guzzling tons of water, pumping more frequently, and taking Fenugreek. Sadly, these tricks didn’t help like I hoped they would, and the milk seemed to disappear before my eyes.

[ReviewDisclaimer]

One day I went to take my daily dose of Fenugreek when I heard a small voice that said, “Don’t take it.”

I ignored it and went for the bottle again, but this time the voice was even louder…”NO! Don’t take it!” I read the warning on the back of the bottle that said “Do not consume if you are pregnant.”

Of course I went straight to Google and learned that Fenugreek may cause uterine stimulation, which could cause preterm labor or miscarriage.

After reading that, I wondered if God was trying to tell me that I was pregnant.

I went to the pharmacy and purchased several pregnancy tests (I even got the expensive one that tells you how many weeks along you are). I came home, took the test, and BAM…I was 5+ weeks pregnant.

We didn’t plan to have our children 17 months & 3 weeks apart, but it happened!

After finding out I was pregnant again, some unwanted thoughts and concerns raced through my mind.

I allowed fear and pride to get the best of me.

I was afraid that I was not cut out to be a 2U2 mom. I had a constant notion that I would be a failure if I wasn’t caring for BOTH kids, NON-STOP. Once that fear deeply set in, I realized that I had to show fear who was boss. On the opposite end, my pride began to creep in. I wanted to prove that I could handle having two kids under two, and that I was made for this.

Next, worry and guilt flooded my mind.

I was worried that Risden would feel replaced. When my in-laws brought him to the hospital to meet his little sister, he screamed bloody murder the entire time. That’s when the guilt really sank in. He didn’t want anything to do with me that day. And as a mother, that hurts.

I wrestled with these thoughts and concerns for the first several weeks, but learned a few things through my struggle.

Hey fear, guess what?

People have kids close in age all of the time, and many folks plan it that way. You will survive. You don’t have to get the hang of it in the first few weeks. Give yourself grace. Remember, God of the universe, who knows every hair on your head, deemed it necessary for you to be a 2U2 mom. If your Creator thinks you can do it, you absolutely can!

And you, pride? I do not have to prove anything.

You have already proven that you are awesome because you have now carried and birthed at least two babies. If you have people offering to keep your older child, take it. It doesn’t make you any less of a mom because you have help…it makes you smart and resourceful.
One of my biggest regrets was not taking the help that was offered to me after bringing Rachel home from the hospital.

I was so determined to do it on my own, I ended up missing out on some of Rachel’s sweet newborn snuggles. There weren’t many days where it was just us. I remember my first few weeks with Risden were very calm and sweet….time seemed to stand still. However, with Rachel, I remember having more stress and uncertainty, and time passed way too quickly.

Even though I didn’t ask for as much help as I probably should have, I also enjoyed the time with both babies. The times when I had both of them snuggled in my lap were twice as amazing.  I didn’t want to miss a milestone and did everything I could do document each month.

Don’t let worrying consume you.

No doubt there will be worrisome days once you bring home baby #2, but don’t let the fear of you “replacing” your older child run through your mind. To help the older sibling feel significant, make sure he or she feels included and also gets 1 on 1 time with you.

If you’re in (or are soon to be in) a similar situation, I strongly encourage you to find some balance. Spend individual time with them, but also let your older child run errands with Dad or visit the grandparents for a few hours each day. This will allow you time to rest and focus on your newborn, while your older child gets to have fun and have focused attention on him/her.

Acknowledge guilt, but don’t live by it.

Baby #1 may not want much to do with mom in the hospital or when things get settled at home, but eventually things will fall perfectly into place. It’s important to shake off that guilt because in a few months they won’t remember what life was like without baby #2. And in a few years, they will realize that they have a playmate and friend for life.

Fear, Pride, Worry, and Guilt can easily steal your joy, so it’s important not to focus on them.

When I’m experiencing some of these emotions, I like to think of one of my favorite bible verses, Philippians 4:8. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

My kids are now 4 and 2, and they are the best of friends. Watching them play together is one of my most favorite things in the whole world! Seeing them hug and kiss each other goodnight warms my heart every time.

I’m so grateful that I had them when I did, and I don’t want to take a second of it for granted.

Are you a 2U2 mom? I would love to know how you found balance in your life.