10 Ways Moms Can Find “Me Time”

 

In a mother’s world of housekeeping, meal prepping, bathtimes, managing social schedules – and hello! WORKING! – … moms are guilty for putting themselves lowest on the totem pole.

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Remember the good old days when you left work, hit the gym, cooked whatever you wanted for dinner and had enough energy to wash the dishes afterward? Or when you woke up on a Saturday morning and laid in bed until 10am? Or binge-watched an entire Netflix series over the course of a weekend?  Or *gasp* …. spent over an hour getting full-on glam for a night on the town and came home at 2am?!

Yeah, that doesn’t really happen anymore.

Little people are demanding.

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“Me time” is crucial as a parent.  Moms spend so much time catering to everyone else, it’s easy to feel deflated and unimportant.

Here’s the thing – the notion of total, selfless servitude to your job, husband, and children is unrealistic. In order to be a great mom, you have to feel great about yourself and the life you live. Caring for yourself is equally as important as caring for your family.

That’s right moms, you are a priority.

Relax and unwind; your children will go on with life.

Here are 10 ways you can practice self-care, from 6 moms who sorta figured it out:

1.) Get your partner involved –

Kaitlin – To all the moms out there doing it on their own, serious props to you. And to the women with partners who travel or can’t be involved and are running the show as a result, kudos. You’re inspirational.

For me, having a husband who is active in our household is key to my sanity. It’s beneficial to your kids, too. He’s my teammate. Whether it’s playing with our girls or taking lead on the chores, he’s in it with me 100%. Communicating about when/where/how we need each other is necessary because when one person feels like they’re sinking, the entire household suffers. Talk to your partner. You are THE mom, but there are TWO parents.

Shelley – One day a week, I ask Demetrius to get up with Cam, feed her, take the dogs out, and do the morning routine. HELLO! Nothing like waking up in the morning and being hit with 233459456 demands from everyone in the house every single day. To me, one day of breaking out of the routine makes me feel energized and helps me make it through the week. (Disclaimer: Dad will NOT run the show like you do; but don’t micromanage him.  Your kid may eat a [amazon_textlink asin=’B0723BNSSJ’ text=’taco‘ template=’ProductLink’ store=’poms2moms-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’7e629407-b692-11e8-b219-539d1a12f50d’] for breakfast but do you think they care?)

2.) Leave the house –

Shelley – Go do something you enjoy. Get your [amazon_textlink asin=’B009C9RENQ’ text=’nails done‘ template=’ProductLink’ store=’poms2moms-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’d4124ebb-b692-11e8-8f07-d51896c69476′], go to the gym, go to the grocery store, sit in your car in the parking lot… (Yep, done that before).

Going places alone allows me to relax. Why you say? I only have to worry about me. I don’t have to worry if I have a snack or backup clothes… or watch out for the creeps that want to steal my child…or worry if my kid’s shoes are still on and we have Tigger in tow (important AF.)

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I remember the first time Demetrius was home after being away for a few months and I went to the store IN THE DARK.  I felt like a total badass that was living life to the fullest.

Long story short, give your brain a break and venture out alone!

3.) Treat yo-self – 

Karey – Travel. Have dinner in a new spot. Plan a getaway together. Talk about the getaway in advance. We put trips on the Marren [amazon_textlink asin=’B06XBL6QDJ’ text=’family calendar‘ template=’ProductLink’ store=’poms2moms-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’1dc3f86e-b693-11e8-b36a-9d3505596997′] and even set aside some cash for an outfit (if it’s an important trip.)  Having that sense of anticipation and leading up to it together develops a sense of adventure and bonding as a couple.

Cayla – I never thought I would take this for granted or truly enjoy it as much as I do now, but seriously, how amazing does it feel to take a HOT shower or bath?! It makes me feel relaxed, refreshed, and like a million bucks – ESPECIALLY after a longgg day of leaking boobs, baby spit up, stinky diapers, and being covered in my sweet (“non-shedding”) goldendoodle’s fur.

Trisha – I have a subscription to Birchbox and I love it! Every month I get a little surprise that’s just for me! Usually there is a [amazon_textlink asin=’B01NCM25K7′ text=’face mask‘ template=’ProductLink’ store=’poms2moms-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’544250e3-b693-11e8-9dd2-350116598208′] of sorts and it’s the perfect addition to your hot shower/bath time.

I also recommend a magazine subscription. My choice is Our State Magazine! You can enjoy reading it while you have your [amazon_textlink asin=’B074W9T3MN’ text=’morning coffee‘ template=’ProductLink’ store=’poms2moms-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’8ca87c7d-b693-11e8-a117-75a58150fcd4′]! Our State has tons of great festivals listed for the month. You can have your me time while you plan family time.

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4.) Build credit in your “awesome mom bank” – 

Kaitlin – I feel my best when I am super mom. There must be something chemical that happens in your body when you’re cooking awesome meals, doing arts and crafts, and taking your kids on outings, because I always feel like a rockstar on those days. Nothing beats loving your kids at 110%. But mama, that life is not sustainable. And rather than be consumed by “mom guilt” that I am not doing it all, every day, I aim for quality, not quantity.

A couple weeks ago, I took my girls to the zoo.  I packed healthy lunches, let my 3-year-old “talk to” every animal there, and took a ton of pictures.

You know what I did the next day? I let that same 3-year-old watch 6 consecutive episodes of Peppa Pig and eat chicken nuggets while I did some hands-free baby-wearing with the 9-month-old and worked on a Pinterest project I’ve been dying to finish. Totally GUILT FREE.

You can’t do it all, all the time. You’re a human being with real shit to do, not the entertainment director of a cruise ship for tiny humans. Make the days you’re “on” the BEST days they can possibly be and the days you can’t – wrap them up with bedtime stories and cuddles.

5.) Leverage family members –

Jenny – My immediate family has been extremely involved and willing to spend time with the girls. At first, I struggled with asking for help. It felt like I was trying to pass my kids off and that our parents would somehow judge me for thinking something else was more important than my babies. But guess what? They are parents too. They get it! I was constantly reassured by them that it was something they looked forward to and wished they could do more often.

Trisha – We are so fortunate that both sets of grands live close by! Every week my “in-loves” have Risden and Rachel over for supper on Thursday nights. They usually do BFD (breakfast for dinner) while Zach gets time to do things in his shop and I get to go [amazon_textlink asin=’B0756CRJT1′ text=’workout‘ template=’ProductLink’ store=’poms2moms-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’0f9d6bf3-b694-11e8-a373-65d4fe515769′] and take a quick shower. With this weekly tradition, everybody is getting something they need!

6.) Cook a bangin meal – 

Cayla – I have a strong passion for cooking…and eating (I blame it on the Italian genes.) Cooking can be so therapeutic, especially when the baby is occupied and you can indulge in a glass (or two) of wine in the process.

Call me crazy, but I enjoy going grocery shopping and getting meals prepared for the week. It allows me to get out of the house, putter around while getting my favorite foods and snacks, and come home and pretend to be Rachael Ray in the kitchen. There’s enough going on throughout the day, so how nice is it to spend some good, quality time in the kitchen, jam out to your favorite tunes, and let your family reap the benefits as well?

7.) Outsource and automate – 

Kaitlin – Without sounding too self-righteous, is there anything in your life you can offload to someone else? If it’s within your budget, splurge on a luxury that makes your life easier. Since we’ve had kids, we’ve budgeted for a bi-monthly cleaning service. I haven’t bought a pair of new jeans since 2016 but you better believe that our household moves around money to accommodate our cleaner. As a result, I get to spend the time I would have spent cleaning with my kids, my husband, or take some time for myself.

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Jenny – We recently started using the Express Lane at Harris Teeter for our grocery shopping and it has been life changing!  It was getting harder and harder to find the time to get to the grocery store, remember everything on my imaginary list, and then get home to cook it all. With this service, I can easily add items to my cart, save my most-used items to a “Favorites” list, and pick-up everything at a scheduled time.

8.) Love your job – 

Jenny – Being a working mom has its pros and cons, but a huge pro is getting out of the house and having adult interactions. Many times, I dread overnight and out of town work trips because I am away from my babies, but once I can get past this initial anxiety, I end up enjoying myself and the time I spend building my career.

Trisha – While I do not have overnight trips like Jenny, I too am a working mom. I do have a longer commute for my job, but during that two hours or so in the car, I can jam to my favorite music, listen to podcasts or books, or spend time catching up with my friends! Make a plan for those drives and you’ll find you enjoy them more!

9.) Wake up early –

Trisha – Sometimes it’s just impossible to want to wake up earlier than your kids, especially if you have early risers. But if you can, do it. Even if it’s just 15 minutes. I love to have my favorite coffee in my [amazon_textlink asin=’B00SQGOB50′ text=’favorite mug‘ template=’ProductLink’ store=’poms2moms-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’859b1bad-b694-11e8-9354-fd016dfc5f01′] and [amazon_textlink asin=’0692789316′ text=’quiet time‘ template=’ProductLink’ store=’poms2moms-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’945eb686-b694-11e8-ac52-9bff5b247e9a’] with Jesus before starting my day! It’s not much “me time” but it starts your day peacefully and you’ve gotten to do something that YOU like to do!

Karey – Now obviously I don’t have kids, but I interact with a ton of people throughout the day. When I get up early and go to the gym, part of me feels like I’ve already been successful no matter what happens next. If I don’t go to the gym, I put my Bluetooth speakers in and hit the sidewalk with my dog. With the spring forward time change, I even get to see glimmers of morning sunrises (it’ll be sunny by 6 AM in Washington summers).

This is probably the single most important suggestion I can make in terms of taking care of myself, because personally it makes a big difference for me.

10.) Enjoy an alcoholic beverage –

Our very own Poms2Moms author Karey once said, “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” (Or was that Ben Franklin?) 😉

Sometimes, there are long days that only a strong drink can cure. This team is no stranger to a glass of wine or an ice cold beer to relax and unwind once you clock out of work, finish the chores, and lay the kids to bed.

Regardless of how you choose to decompress, we hope that you understand the importance of finding time for yourself. What are some of the ways you make self-care a priority?